Why you can’t succeed in your goals
Dean Rahaman · September 19, 2016 · 4 minutes to read
I wanted to raise this point because over the years I’ve dealt with a lot of cases where people have started fitness goals but never achieved them. Through personal training I’ve had the fortune to meet hundreds if not close to thousands of people from other trainers, managers, Athletes, students, directors, business owners, CEO’s, COO’s, MD’s, Project managers, Actors, retail workers, retiree’s and stay at home parents. All of these people have goals, the goals may have been to make 10 million pounds, to lose 4 stone, to get fit for a sporting event, to slim down for a wedding, for health reasons or to simply feel more confident naked.
This is where most people fall into, they fall into the category of wanting to feel less fat and more confident. And let’s face it, with all the media and internet access we have now, we’re inundated with images of ‘perfect body’ this or ‘look at my abs’ that and it can knock all of our confidence a little. And trust me I’m no exception to the rule, I like to feel good when I take off my shirt because a lot of my peers are lean, there is expectation that because I’m a trainer I should look a certain way and for me personally I love to feel less fat and more confident naked.
Why is this important?
The reason is because with common goals are also common reasons that people don’t achieve them. Once I’ve built up rapport with a new client, I can then delve a little deeper into why they haven’t achieved their goal when they’ve tried previously, there are a few things that crop up time and time again which I’m going to go through now.
- The old ‘I got stuck and didn’t know what to do next’ line. What I used to see and still do whether its fitness or life goal related is people get off to a great start following some free advice. Once they hit the wall, plateau and stop feeling results have no clue what to do next and quit on their goal.
- From what I’ve seen over the years is the fear of success. The fear of success for a lot of people can be more frightening than the fear of failure. People seem to be have been conditioned to fail in a weight loss attempt or a career change attempt or whatever the case may be. Now with failure what happens is that you remain in the comfort zone that you’ve created for yourself. However if you succeed in your goals it means that things will change. Clothes will change, maybe your circle of friends will change, maybe your home environment will change, social expectation and peer pressure may change. Success means a lot of change and from my experience a lot of change frightens people even if it is for the better. In my opinion fear success outweighs the fear of failure.
- Underestimation of what it takes. People often do not appreciate how much effort needs to go into taking the steps required to hit their goal. This is where life coaches, business coaches, personal trainers and mentors are invaluable. My tip for this is to questions a persons motivation (desire to achieve a change in order to feel better) and their commitment (doing what needs to be done when nobody is looking) in making sacrifices to achieve their goals in baby steps of success.
- Not actually setting proper goals. See my blog about the difference between goal setting and having a vision for a more in depth distinction between the two. But goal setting is a hugely important part of actually getting you want out of life. Setting goals should detail what you want to achieve, when you want to achieve it by, a scale of reality, how you’re going to measure your success and when you want to achieve it all by. Once you have the big goal picture, the next step is to set up a plan of what you need to do and how you’re going to do it. Once the goal is set it’s all about the plan. Are you going out networking? Are you going to need to hire a professional? PT, Coach, therapist, mentor etc. Will you need to join a gym? Will you need to change your kitchen set up? Will you need to make some investments in education or equipment? Are you going to need to go without certain pleasures and luxuries for a while? These are just some of the tip of the iceberg questions that I use with clients to assess their readiness for change, If the they don’t meet the standard I don’t work with them. Before today I’ve fired a couple of clients because they weren’t sticking to the program and had too many ideas about their way was best and were not fully ready to embrace the changes.
- “I fell off the diet wagon, so thought [email protected]*k it and just binged!” Direct quote from a client I worked with that one. But I know this is so common across a huge proportion of people doing their best to lose weight. They’ve been good all week, eating clean, doing all the right things and then Saturday comes around and boom! Out come the cakes, donuts, biscuits being dunked in sugary tea, crisps, sandwiches you name it, if it has sugar and bad fats in its being eaten. The follow on and fall out from this kind of binge can be so destructive that people abandon their entire fitness plan! The thing with this type of binge is generally something hormonal which is causing you to crave all that refinement from food. Another blog there all by itself! Here is the thing though, the body is smart and the body doesn’t like holding excess fat and weight, so your body will do what it can to get rid of it. You can help your body simply by getting back on the wagon, I never punish an honest client who tells me that they’ve caved and drunk 6 pints of beer at the pub on Friday night. What we do is look at the impact it has on the body and how it can slow down the speed of result, then the next time that choice comes up to drink 6 pints or not you have more information to make a better decision.
These are just some of the things that I’ve heard over the last 10 years as to why people don’t achieve their goals. In my opinion there is usually a blend of factors that affect people’s ability to make significant enough changes and see through their goals to completion. For me in the majority of cases its about education, the more information you have about how certain things impact on your bodies systems the better choices you can make J
If you want more information about setting goals please check out the other blogs or if you want you can contact me directly on [email protected]